By Adele Douglas
We all want what’s best for our children. But sometimes it’s difficult to know exactly what we’re supposed to be doing to help them succeed. I know that helping my daughter with her school work and getting her involved with extracurricular activities are good things. But how am I supposed to help her get motivated to work hard and succeed? Much in her world is “stupid” and math is definitely something she’ll “never use again” because “that’s what computers are for”. I needed help.
The Plattsburgh Campus and Community Partnership and the Drug Free Communities Support Program sponsored three events with national speaker Ed Gerety on the importance of choices. The first was Tuesday night when he spoke to parents at the Plattsburgh High School Auditorium on “Raising our Teen: Bridging the Gap”. What follows is based solely on my memory, there were no handouts and I didn’t have anything to write on.
How do you connect with your child? Find and feed their passion, find out what your child gets excited about and talk about it, encourage them to go after it. Even if it seems like a long shot, like making a professional sports team, be positive and supportive, let them dream big and help them work towards that dream.
Help them set goals, not vague ones but concrete ones. For example, and this was from someone in the audience, not, “I want to climb all 46 Adirondack Peaks” but, “I will climb all 46 Adirondack Peaks with my husband before I turn 50”.
Encourage your child to create a Dreamboard, a poster board with their picture in the middle and all the things they want all around them. Put it on their bedroom wall. If you have regular reminders of your goals you are more likely to achieve them. The pictures Ed spoke about were things like the basketball team (professional or college) that they want to play for or the college they want to attend or the branch of the armed services they’re interested in or the restaurant they want to open. There’s more on Dreamboards on Ed’s blog.
Make sure your kids know that the mind is a powerful thing, if you believe you can do something you will do it. Being positive is important. Try to encourage them to surround themselves with positive people. Negative people sap energy and kill dreams. If they can’t stay away from negative people help them realize they don’t have to buy into what they’re saying.
In addition to the above parents have to walk the walk. Kids are listening and watching how you deal with life and the people in it, so be a positive role model, show that you set goals and work hard to meet them.
This one hour with Ed Gerety provided good suggestions on how to help my daughter succeed and ones that I’ll try to use in my own life as well.
Ed was the keynote speaker for the Youth Leadership Conference Wednesday morning and then spoke to the students of PHS in the afternoon. To find out more about what Ed’s got to say go to: www.facebook.com/edgeretyspeaks or edgeretyblog.com
